Rob’s in trouble. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, and I am scorned. Last night, he forgot about Date Night. He promised to make up for it by joining me tonight, and now he’s late.
Stacey is only in town for a short visit and Saturday night presents her one opportunity to get together with everyone. “Everyone” meaning mostly her girlfriends. We’re to meet for dinner and drinks at 8:00. Normally, this is a scene Rob would avoid, but tonight he’s making up for last night. “I really want to come,” he lies. “As long as we’re together.”
Fine. I allow him the honour of accompanying me. First, though, he will spend the afternoon hunting. He will be back in time to have a shower, dress and take me to dinner at 8:00. But Rob is easily distracted. At 7:40 he phones to advise me that he is still 40 minutes from home. If I’d like to go to dinner ahead of him, he’ll catch up. How thoughtful.
Going ahead of Rob would deny me the occasion to give him shit in a private setting. So I wait. He arrives home at 8:20 in obvious need of a shower. He tells me that he would have been on time, but he stopped in to see Ed. Then a quick visit with Billy. He provides me with news on their lives. I tell him to get his ass in the shower.
On the drive to the restaurant, Rob chatters away about his hunting adventures. He has yet to apologize for his lateness. I interrupt his story and launch into my rehearsed tirade. He would have been on time if he cared. His actions speak louder than his words. He doesn’t care about my feelings. My friends are never his priority. My social commitments are never his priority. He should try harder. He is NOT sorry and even if he is, it doesn’t matter because he could have been on time if he’d only tried and he’s an asshole anyway.
Rob is very gentle natured. He does not fight back. Instead, he wears a look of regret like a dog caught chewing the carpet. He looks to me and bats his eyelashes and puts the smallest curve to the edges of his mouth. I don’t take the bait. No sir. I’m good and mad and someone must suffer.
Always the gentleman, Rob drops me off in front of the restaurant and goes off in search of a parking space. I run in to meet my friends and give them a quick version of the events that resulted in my lateness. But where is everyone? Where is Stacey? I look around at the hundred different faces and can’t find Stacey’s.
I check my BlackBerry. Dinner is Saturday at 8:00, here in this restaurant. Next Saturday.
I leave the restaurant and wait by the entrance. Rob approaches, still looking humble and sorry.
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I am sheepish having worked up a hundred ways I would lecture and plot my revenge while I read your post...until your clever confession. I enjoyed being brought through the nagging and impatience, your tone is well presented in the "interruption" piece: it mirrors the interruption in the story to ranting thoughts, well done! As a different version, you could work the intro to have a more curt and scornful tone, to bring the emotion of your first sentences to the recounting of the story. It seems like instead of building up steam waiting, you let alot out in the setting up of the situation. Is there a way for the last sentence to show you mirroring his humbleness to bring it full circle? Just a few thoughts...keep up the good writing!
ReplyDeleteVery good piece. It is a lot different from many of the pieces I have read in a sense that during no point of the story did I even suspect a turn of events revolving around the dinner meeting place. This piece made me think at the beginning that something would happen between you and Rob. To be honest I was expecting something such as, Rob later proposed or something. Anyways, the only spot that I would reccommend changing would possibly be that you could put a little more dialogue when Rob returns from hunting to show how "humble" and "sorry" he seems. Maybe by putting some emotions during the car ride or some dialogue in there would show the reader the anticipation for seeing your friend, then it all being brought to a hault when the reservation is changed. All in all, I really enjoyed this piece. Good work!
ReplyDeleteI loved your wit and charm in this post - I am glad that you gave him a piece of your mind! I was actually waiting for the arguement part when I read the first sentence. I didn't knw who Rob was at this point, but I assumed he was someone that needed a good punishing.
ReplyDeleteI wonder though, why you ended it the way you did... it made it sort of seem incomplete. For me at least. maybe if you took out "I leave the restaurant and wait by the entrance. Rob approaches, still looking humble and sorry." it would make me more comfortable with the ending, I felt like there was more that you had to say but you didn't.
I do, however, like your writing style. I all your pieces you have found a humerous and light-hearted voice. This piece showed your readers your tough side and I liked the switch.
Awesome work!! keep it up!!
Colleen
Great post. I really enjoyed reading the events of the story. I could tell that you were feeling pretty tense about Rob's behavior. Unlike the other 2 comments, I liked your ending. I was imagining how it would have made you feel to have made such a big deal over something that is still, to our surprise, a week away. I would like to see how you would have explained it to Rob, once he came into the restaurant and Stacey was not there. I really enjoy your writing.
ReplyDeleteI am trying to think of something to change and it just is not coming to me!
*clap clap* Great job Tracie!! i really enjoyed this post. I can't tell you how many times this simmilar situation has happened to me. You not only showed us the story, but you showed us your personality, which I believe is very important to a story. You put a great spin on it with this conclusion, it made me giggle. Once again great job.
ReplyDeleteI love that he is the bad guy in the beginning. You really set him up as the brutal boyfriend that we all know yet still love...sometimes. You’re good at sending the message that this kind of shit happens ALL-THE-TIME. I was half expecting you to end it, almost like this was the final straw. I was a little confused at the beginning when you shift from yourself as “I am a woman...” to “Stacey is only...” I thought it was a shift in narrators. Easily fixed, maybe start the second part with “my friend Stacey...” The line “he wears a look of regret like a dog caught chewing on the carpet” was a good elusion to the fact that he was in the proverbial dog house: being in trouble. The ending was abrupt. I have been there; and the last thing I want to do is admit that I was wrong. But maybe end with something that Rob could say that made him the bigger person? Or even a mumbled apology from you. Just a thought. Well handled.
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